Howie-isms

The following phrases I lay claim to their usage and propagation.

• Pooter - nickname for computer. I had this idea a while ago of mixing Internet with a restaurant businesses and calling it "Pooters", kind of like "Hooters" but with computer screens.
• E-shirt - Any T-shirt that bears a computer or electronic company logo on it that wouldn't make sense to anyone outside of that industry. Usually found amongst employee teams or acquired at seminars and conventions.
• The Millies - what I coin this decade, named after the Millenium.
• Playing the Change Lotto - Feeding the coin redemption machines at a casino with your piggy bank jars.
• First lottery - any lottery whose winnings could easily apply to your current lifestyle or financial planning and you wouldn't notice any difference. Like you get to retire in 29 years instead of 30. Big deal.
• Second lottery - a lottery that forces you out of your current lifestyle whether you like it or not, but not large enough for you to do any major acquisitions like buy buildings or companies.
• Multiple lottery - if you're lucky to have won three lotteries in a row your lifestyle will be so radically changed it wouldn't matter what I would have to say about it.
• Snooze Slapping - The practice of hitting the snooze button mulitiple times after the alarm has gone off.  The pros can do this in their sleep.
• Angused - Any food that has been nibbled on, any plastic that has been chewed up and any seat or carpet area that has been pooped on.
• Howard tax (or whatever your name tax) - getting to nibble on whatever food that has been preped, or eating the leftovers, same as dibs
• Get Panda - My wife's term for getting fast food from Panda Express.
• Police Car - any large sedan that can easily be used as a police car if it were painted the right colors and given more power. (e.g. Chevrolet Caprice, Ford Crown Victoria, Taurus, Impala)
• Mansion - any city cathedral, aptly used to describe God's house
• Cahstle - a large house that has European or medieval/SCA influences. You have to say it snobbishly as if you were from England.
• Geekend Warrior - Someone who spends their weekends doing pooter and other technology improvements.
• Cruck - It's a car, no, it's a truck. It's an SUV or hybrid something or other. It's some big vehicle that a lot of people are driving, yet they don't want to call it a truck so they can still park it in compact zones.  Its purpose is to suck away entire budgets from soccer mom households.
• The Recycle Car - Honda CR-V's are a cheap version of the SUV. CRV is typically associated with Cash Redemption Value, like in recycling plastic bottles and cans.
• Zombie Hour - The hour at night when your brain ceases to function like it used to earlier in the day.  Common among students trying to pull an all-nighter.
• Those are my Pennies - You've heard of "my two cents on the matter". This is when you have more than your two cents to say or the same two cents after inflation.
• Cyberwhat? - My smirky response to when people try to prefix any internet activity with "cyber"
• Virtual Collector - An acquirer of items that have no intrinsic value.  These items can be videotapes from TV, MP3's and other pooter media, and garbage barges.  They are usually seen buying more and more hard drives and CD space.
• CASSes - Church And State Separation people.
• Information Garbage Barge - a web page that tends to collect a lot of useless content and external links.  I'm sure this is what Al Gore wanted when he created the Information Superhighway.  Very common among fan pages.
• Bible Bongos - getting into a Bible scripture quoting frenzy
• The Kuh-Chi Game - the asian practice of picking up the dinner bill out of politeness (kuh-chi).

Terms I can sort of claim, but others might have thought about too!

• Call wasted - When you are doing something online and someone calls in and disconnects you.  Typical situations would be while online gaming and/or downloading large files.
• Dig yer own - When someone suffers the logical consequences of their actions, yet complains as if they are not responsible.

Terms I want to coin in the near future, but need a catchy name first

These phrases I don't claim as my own, but use a lot:

• Food Coma - The nauseating sleepy feeling you get after eating a big meal.  I think my sister invented this term or at least she's propagating it amongst friends.
• Completist - A pooter gamer who spends most of their time solving every aspect of their game.
• Crap-In-A-Box, Taco Hell, Booger King - obvious
• Do the numbers - taking Angus out so he can do #1 or #2, if you know what I mean.
• Feed the meter - replenishing the parking meter full of coins
• Upgrade junkie - your never content "keep up with the Joneses" person.

© 2003 Howard Hsieh hhsieh@nptest.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. The views and opinions expressed here are that of the author only, and do not reflect any of the views or opinions of the companies or organizations associated here. Last updated: August 29, 2003