An explanation

(on the formation of alt.politics.scorched-earth)

Newsgroups: alt.politics.scorched-earth,talk.bizarre,talk.politics.misc
Date: 25 Oct 1994 20:22:00 -0400


Hello. I am Jeff Vogel. Creator and Presidential Candidate of the Scorched Earth Party. I did not create this newsgroup. It was undoubtedly created by one of my hordes of followers, my secret, hunched, drooling, warty mobs who are trying to lift me to the highest position in this great land of ours!

So. What is the Scorched Earth Party?

The Scorched Earth Party is the last true bastion of honesty in the undiluted smegma bath that is American Politics. We want to serve you. We want to make your life very, very, VERY different. We want to use you. We want to sleep with you.

We were the first political party to respond to the threat of Barney, and the first to advocate beating those responsible to death with lead pipes.

We were the first political party to advocate renaming the Washington Monument the Big Stone U.S. Penis and putting big, orange foam testicles at the bottom.

More to follow. Scorched Earth Classics. Scorched Earth Party Position Papers. Scorched Earth Party Pathetic Requests For Hand-Jobs. Scorched Earth Musings. Here. Until we take control.

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The Scorched Earth