Mike Kaye as "root"
1986, ucscb.ucsc.edu
"root" Hello there this is root.  I am performing a test to check out a
"root" bug.  Do you mind?
krom   no
"root" I have been working on this problem all afternoon..  Apparently someone
"root" has figured out how to send anonymus talks. I was chartered to 
"root" fix it- thus I am temporarily root.  The anonymus mail bug you might
"root" have heard about was fixed by me too.
krom   Which mail bug was that.
"root" Well, some users were using a supposedly secret form of mail caled
"root" `omail` instead of mail.  With the parameters -d and -r, one could
"root" mask the mail so that it would appear that it was from god for instance.
"root" Like
"root" mail for krom has arrived from GOD
"root" Stop harrassing people dammit!
"root" ect ect ect...
"root" this did have legit uses... But it was being abused.  Thus I fixed it.
"root" The old path was /usr/spool/omail/user -d sent -r....
"root" This anonymus talk/write thing is killing me.  I cant figure it out
"root" at all.  I get PAID for bumming around this termial all day.
krom   Yea , I remember such a problem, I
krom   received such a message when 
krom   bnshee got one. It was reported to you
"root" banshee? you know hmm..  Hes on the shitlist around here.  He might
"root" lose his account perhaps... Did he already?
krom   NOt yet, Yea I know him.
"root" Got a pretty large list here.... People complain all the time.. Everyone accuse
"root" s each other of everything else- you`d think its a kindergarten.  Maybe it is.
"root" First, the latest one is Karza.  He apologized but needs to explain further
"root" his actions.  b2wild is in deep shit too.... unbelieveable # of complaints
"root" there.. corvus also... acct horny apparently has been cleared- I guess some
"root" people were just out to get him with false allogations..... acct vespa
"root" too... obscure is causing big trouble, though theres nothing we can
"root" do about it.  And now theres anonymus talk/write.
"root" They just might disable write.  And if obscure gets his way, theyll
"root" disable games and forums.  and those underground forums we (caugh) dont
"root" know about.  Do you confess to using illegal forums?
krom   No . the only forums I ever use is bazooka shell
"root" what is the path for that.. wait there is an acct bazooka.  Ill check
"root" him next.  ok.  Which forums..?
krom   What do you mean? 
"root" which forums can you access from this shell
"root" Oh boy.  Looks like I've got a raid on my hands.  Do alot of people use this
"root" shell?
krom   There is a lot of them. 
krom   I don` t know, I`ve seen a few others use it, I forgot how I picked it up.
"root" ok.  Any other shells you know of?
"root" Got it.  I suggest you stop using forums immediately.  A leech
"root" letin file is to be implemented to keep track of who enters.  
"root" It will not be discoverable/readable by a non-root/super-user log in.
krom   Really just bazooka,
"root" When you signed the forms to have your acct, you agreed not to go
"root" against proclamations of dennie.  You have done so by entering these
"root" fora. Furthermore, I see you have a .rhosts file.  This is illegal for 
"root" all purposes except to let in account that you own.  You have let
"root" (let me see...) acct.... falcon? yes falcon in.  Hes on the lst
"root" of rlogins to your acct tooo....  hmm. Hes on the list..
"root" Ill have to check his rhosts too...
"root" ok.  got it.  Now.  You also have... (wait, I have a program writen
"root" that checks this) an alias file- with YOUlied! you have paths here
"root" to... /a/w/nonukes/Bin/sure.death  a shell? hmm. on the list...
"root" wait...+
krom   Ok , sorry about that I di 
"root" you are at /a/y/krom
krom   no
"root" You don't belong to any user groups... 
krom   Everything that 
krom   O.K. if you say so.
"root" ok.  thanks for your help.  Dont worry about a thing.  
"root" Well, it will be presented before the bcomm... but I really wouldnt
"root" worry about it. Theyll mark you up for a few token `brownie points`.
"root" Unless we find more.  They've just implimented penalties beyond
"root" losing your acct... 
krom   That`s pretty bad. Everything that I have
"root" You are a biochemistry major.
krom   Yip
"root" OK.  have you ever heard account banshee ?  
"root" oh yes I asked you that.  You... you play multi-trek dont you.
"root" Have you ever crashed the system for the purposes of playing multi-trek?
krom   My brother went here 2 years ago and 
krom   I just learned about the system, I don`t even know how to do that. Besides, 
krom   I only play multi-trek in the middle of the night, that way no one with
"root" Ok, we have established that you play mulit-trek... let me see that list...
"root" have you ever seen a ship ((acct banshee?) say `Rape the Dead` while
krom   .             legit
"root" on multi-trek? or acct... horny with a ship called the 'Vommiting RAPIST'?
krom   I know banshee plays, but I don`t think that`s his ship name. Horny always
krom   plays
krom   Yip
krom   Frivulous Blonde.
"root" OK.  Those charges were under the sexual harrasment commitees anyway.
"root" Am I making you nervous? All I look at all day is digital crap and I needed
"root" to talk to someone to give me the straight facts.
krom   Well you aren`t really making me nervous, but you`re getting me kind of
krom   worried about me using things that I didn`t know were illegal
"root" ok.  Well, how about some lighthearted humor.  Have you ever heard the
"root" 'dead ones full'?
krom   I heard them talking about it , it seems someone was making jokes on m-t
krom   a while back ago.
"root" who
krom   I know it was someone from Crown , because they did have a little thing going 
krom   up there.
"root" to talk to someone to give me the straight facts.
"root" hmm. ok. crown.  Have you seen any offensive material publicly
"root" readable on unixb? like forums or finger files or directories?
"root" anything you or others might find offensive.
krom   What kind of offeYea, some e
"root" well even the crashing was done in fun!  Have you found and
"root" any wildly attractive women here on unixb? I would like to know if 
"root" they are to be had here. ha.
krom   But I really didn`t think anything of it , They were doing it in fun 
krom   I don`t know , I really haven`t talked to any women on unix, the only 
krom   one was kelly , but she turnedout to be a he.
"root" Oh, I thought you were a woman also.  Didnt you know that Santa Cruz
"root" has an extremely large population
"root" of lesbians? Thats why I feel relatively comefortable
"root" here.
krom   But I really didn`t think anything of it , They were doing it in fun
krom   No , I`M a guy. I didn`t know that there was a high rate , I thought they 
krom   just excepted them here, That`s probably why
"root" Yes, Santa cruz has the highest ratio of lesbo`s in the country.
"root" We licking lesbians are to be seen everywhere in S.C, to the disgust
"root" of Republicans everywhere.
krom   Wow, you a demo?
"root" Im the real thing baby.  I may be a geek during the day- official and all
"root" that, but when my day is done.... LOOK OUT!!! I'm a fan of electronic
"root" Latex devices and cunnilingus.  Really fun.
krom   Well, we all have are different things that we like to do. I don`t hang
krom   around unix all day because I have got a life out there. I play on and work on
krom   unix only part time.
"root" yes, everyone has their own vice.  What's yours, baby?
krom   I like doing anything that`s funccdrddddd
"root" yes? go on.
"root" u ok?                                                     Are yo
"root" Should I get help?
krom   Not really , someone mailed that to me
"root" mailed what? You aren't making sense.
krom   That thing
"root" Nothing appeared on my screen. Are you feeling well?
"root" Maybe you need some sleep.  College kids can never get enough
"root" 1)sleep
"root" 2)money
"root" 3)sex
krom   I
krom   That, was also placed on the end , when I logged out that would appear. Heck 
krom   if I know how to get rid of it. I left my terminal one night and someone
krom   screwed withit. 
"root" under the new provisitions given under the bcomm code- you are punishable
"root" for anything done THROUGH  your acct.  Whether it was you or not is moot,
"root" as letting others use your acct is breaking a law as well.  
krom   I didn`t know that
"root" Life is hard guy, now bend over and take your punishment from mistress
"root" root! just kidding.  I am into leather and occasionally handcuffs though.
krom   The person that is in my account said that he wanted to use it, I didn`t know that
krom   was illegal , why doesn`t someone give us d hrrules aroun
"root" This is a plea of ignorance.  Under the new ruules, this is futile, as signing
"root" the appropiate papers to get you your acct informed you of this.  Thus
"root" you will either face punishment up to being banned from all accts, or
"root" eg to be beaten from my whip of sadism and punishment.                  b
"root" It was on the yellow sheet you had to sign you inferior frosh shit,
"root" now beg for forgivance from mistress root!!! lick my boots!
krom   Which papers were these, gosh I got my account atI didn`t know th
"root" IGNORANCE IS NO PLEA.  I will have you use my large assortment of electronic
"root" latex devices on me. WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  ohh.  The thought
"root" makes me so creamy! yum.  oh, anticipation- be still my heart...
krom   I cannot do that, I didn`t know all this stuff and
"root" YOU are not listening to ME, you inferior frosh shit.  How many times
"root" ust I repeat myself... IGNORANCE IS NO PLEA. Just being friendly.
"root" pant pant.
krom   I am not going to say anymore if you do not listen.
krom   Even if I didn`t do anything, I lef my terminal to get my laundry out of 
krom   the dryer, 
"root" Oh.  I have an idea.  I need a new party size vat of vaseline...
"root" If you sent me 10$ I could clear this whole thing up...  And if you
"root" dropped by I could make things very interesting for a lonely frosh...
krom   That`s ok, I an wrongly charged. If this is how this system works well then 
krom   do what you have to, I am not the one making absenities on unix
"root" otay.  This has been a horny production.  HOHOHOHOHHOAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHA
"root" the whole stat lab is rolling on the floor!!! HAHAHAHHHHA
"root" HOHOHO
krom   YOU FAGGIT  
"root" it took at least 3 minds to get that conversation off the ground.
"root" hoho.  That was fun...  How convincing was it?
krom   YOU THERE
krom   Shit that was real convincing, HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET . OR CHANGE YOUR
"root" no comment.
"root" Falcon and I and maybe vespa are the only ones that know...
"root" Even after the lesbo part? and the electronic latex devices/
"root" hancuduffs/whip me/ vaseline stuff??
krom   I though he or she or whatever was doing that to intimidate me.
"root" oh...  OK.  Well. Ill be SEeing you later.. GIVE ME 10$ or ILL
"root" GIVE A COPY TO  EVERYONE ON THE SYSTEM!! (I need the vaseline,
"root" remember?) HOHOHOHOHHhahahhaha
krom   Hahahahahahahah, FI
"root" This also permits  ,
krom   FUCK YOU, you really had me going, shit
"root" a    `` hohohoho.  Ive done it to parody ALOT.
krom   OK
krom   Damn , that was to real. DO it to banshee
"root" ok.  Dont tell him about it then.  Hes next.  see you later...
"root" wait. Stay still for about 2 minutes.... I might have this whole
"root" thing saved (honest)... just stay writeable in the cshell..
"root" bye
krom   O.K.
krom   byr
% exit
[Connection closing. Exiting]
script done on Wed Dec 10 15:28:23 1986