Mike Kaye as "root"
1986, ucscb.ucsc.edu
"root"  hello this is root.  I have been working to fix this bug here all night.
"root"  Sorry if I am interrupting you..  Can you talk right now?
banshee hello? is this god?
banshee sure thing,
"root"  I have some things to go over with you....
banshee OK, such as...
"root"  First: rlogins.  These are ILLEGAL except for the explicit use of communicating
"root"  with another owned acct.  You have been caught doing these rlogins
"root"  REPEATEDLY to.... accts krom@b... and.... biscuit(?)@b  In fact
"root"  one of the times was so repetitive it could be considered nothing but 
"root"  sheer violation of rules....
"root"  Contrary to
% write banshee
type talk @ucscb
% talk banshee
banshee soory, i was just sent a large write file
"root"  did you catch who it was?
banshee yeah, i think it was acct. vespa
"root"  Ill check it out.  Contrary to popular belief we here at unixb ARE
"root"  keeping a track of all rlogins to various accounts... So that we
"root"  can observe instances of abuse such as in your case.... You will
"root"  be called before bcomm to clear this up some time in the near
"root"  future.  Also- I have taken the drastic step of tracking writes...
"root"  It is impossible to do this to a significant population of unix b accounts, but
"root"  I have done this to accounts I have received complaints about.  Such as
"root"  your own.  You have been caught writing to various accounts....
"root"  lets see..... quantum i think? Im not sure, but you have obviously
"root"  been abusing write according to the block totals here....
banshee Lets see, what can I say. Acct krom, biscuit and quantum are all
banshee friends of mine.
"root"  This is exactly what the rule has been enstated for.  To avoid such
"root"  usage by "friend" accounts... Yours will be a test case I imagine...
"root"  I have also received complaints from various accounts about...
"root"  multi-trek(?) you are prominant on the games managers list of 
"root"  abusive communiques and ship names....  Vulgarity recorded :
"root"  rape the dead  is a frequent example here I see... Is this a friend using
"root"  your account perhaps?
banshee No, my friends are all standing around laughing right now
"root"  I do NOT want anyone to watch this.  Please tell them to go away 
"root"  while we have this talk.  I insist.  I am going to tell you some
"root"  things that are not to be public knowledge- some for your own
"root"  protection.
banshee OK
banshee Ok, (GO AWAY!!!)
"root"  Oh god.  You are on the sexul harrasment list too.  You must be 
"root"  very weary of this committee.... hmmm/
"root"  your account perhaps?
"root"  You have received a LOT of
"root"  complaints about msgs on the forums here... public manager and games
"root"  list you on the top....  This is bad...  You have used abusive language
"root"  and committed computer vandalism.  An animation was found in your home
"root"  directory that was obscene.  Your finger file has received an incredible
"root"  # of complaints here.  Look, all I get all day is complaints from people
"root"  on unix b about who did what and who crashed the system.  Youd think it
"root"  was a kindergarten or something.  MAybe it is.
"root"  Your finger file is listed in hardcopy for presentation on bcomm and
"root"  the sexual harrassment here.
banshee My finger file is meant to amuse. A lot of people have seen it that way
"root"  Look, you frosh shit, people crash b looking to amuse.
"root"  A LOT have not.  This kind of offensive behaivior and obsenities not only
"root"  are unacceptable, but will be punished to full effect.  Bcomm has just been
"root"  empowered to give penalties beyond just losing your acct here....
banshee Such as..?
"root"  You will find out it more detail than you ever wanted to know at bcomm.
"root"  John Vinopal.  Cowell.  Physics.  This goes to Cowell to it says here.
"root"  I dont know what they are going to do, but I wouldnt worry about them
"root"  so much.
banshee That somehow doesnt help much
"root"  Look, even if you closed your acct today, it wouldnt help too much.
"root"  Dont rlogin any more. You have been caught using illegal forums too,
"root"  but these will not be brought up, I dont think.  We are looking for a
"root"  large scale raid.  These underground forums that we  do not know
"root"  about, are being traced with a track file that loads all userids into a
"root"  file that can only be seen by root.  Only root knws it exists.
banshee Well, bigbrother has been watching me. Would you advise me
banshee to close my acct.?
"root"  Haha. Dont worry about that.  Dont you keep up on the rules?
"root"  You shouldve known that when you signed those yellow sheets getting
"root"  you your account, that you signed over several agreements  such as
"root"  not using accounts for the purposes you have used them for.
"root"  As I was saying, dont worry about closing your acct.  Bcomm is doing
"root"  that this monday for you. Its policy till things get resolved.
banshee Ok, that makes sence
"root"  This really shouldnt affect you schoolwise for at least a quarter.
"root"  You are a guinea pig of sorts, and I am sure you will have all sorts
"root"  of people cheering you on to fight authority.  Could get you some
"root"  women.   Have you met any good looking women on unixb at all?
banshee I havent seen any of them, I only really talk to people
"root"  Oh, just wondering.  I sit here and just stare at this electronic
"root"  digital shit all day- I get tired of it.  I wish I could meet a lot
"root"  more of the faces behind the accounts.
banshee Well, you get to see my face...
banshee What fun.
"root"  Im not going to be on any of these.  My testimonials (if you can call
"root"  them that) are on the records for rlogin and also the write trace.
"root"  I might get called in I suppose, but that hasnt happened much before.
banshee What, and miss my crucifiction?
"root"  Do you realize how impedent and unorganized bcomm is right now?
"root"  Acct larouche is on... his account has been taken out.  Complaints
"root"  like yours did it. And that sexual harrassment committee-- oooooohhh. man!
"root"  thats the inquisistion.  I dont think bcomm will decide on too much.
banshee Well, thats slightly encouraging at any rate
"root"  It should be really encourageing.  Bcomm (by definition in the charter)
"root"  cant do too much without unanimity.  This is a contradiction in terms as I now 
"root"  see it.....
banshee What will the sexual comm do?
"root"  God.  You have to have done something REALLY bad.  Really bad to get there.
"root"  Very very few cases get there....  Its still quite possible that it wont
"root"  make it.  I havent really looked at what is in question. Thats not my job.
banshee OOOooo. I guess I really do have akinda sick sense of humor
"root"  inflicted upon others, in a sensitive community of liberals... 
"root"  well.  I might have a good sense of security if I were you if you get past the
"root"  sexual harrassment- have you ever heard of anyone REALLY getting punished excep
"root"  t there?
"root"  ok. Heres whats up recently.  acct b2wild.  This guy has received an incredible
"root"  amount of complaints.  You would die if you saw the amount of mail.  Hes going
"root"  before commitee with you.  Corvus too, but hes in a little less deep water, or 
"root"  at least hes lower on the lists.  Obscure is causing all kinds of problems here
"root"  , the type we cant do anything about, like fighting to get forums and games
"root"  removed.  horny has been the apparent victim of false accusations, as my records
"root"  conflict with the accusors in his favor.
"root"  Vespa also.  You mentioned him.... Ill check. I know.  Lets see.... acct karza
"root"  is in trouble. He might go before commitee.  Things have been sort of cleared u
"root"  p, as he did apologize for write bombs, but he needs to account for his 
"root"  actions further...
banshee Yeah, vespa apparently has run moles in other peoples accts
"root"  explain.
banshee I was sitting next to him and he was showing my files he had
banshee stolen out of other accts. He said that he put lines in execut.
banshee  programs in their files and those broke down defenses. I'm really not sure
banshee of how it works
"root"  As I mentioned earlier , vespa was accused earlier, and thus I looked
"root"  into his situation earlier.  He talked to me, and informed me of the
"root"  security leaks, and thanks to him, we fixed them.  Turning a friend
"root"  in to root? tsk tsk.  He wasnt doing anything wrong it turns out,
"root"  as he reported the problem promptly to me.
banshee Interesting, as I might not have said, I've only met
banshee him once
"root"  ok.  Well, let me tell you, this job is a bitch.  During the day,
"root"  I may be a hardcore geek, but during the night.......... I like to...
"root"  dress up...
banshee I'm not sure I get your reference
"root"  well, as you know, santa cruz has the highest percentage of lesbians
"root"  in the United States.  I guess thats why I feel so comfortable here.
"root"  Anyway, I just love this place at night.  I like to dress up as I said,
"root"  you know, leather , rubber.  
"root"  lebians?
banshee yeah, there are several lebians/bisexuals(right) who live
banshee downstairs from me
"root"  Oh... what are thier names?  Im into handcuffs occationally too.
"root"  Nothing serious, just play acting fun. You know.
banshee Thats good, some people have no sense of limits
"root"  Well.... We licking lesbians are everywhere.  And where theres a lesbo...
"root"  there is fun nearby... I have a large assortment of electronic latex devices that
"root"  I just LOVE.  Well.... god I love them.  Ill forget the whole thing if you 
"root"  send me 10$.  Ive been drinking a little I guess.  Anyway, I need the money for
"root"  a new party size vat of vaseline.  And if you came over, I could show an 
"root"  inferior frosh shit (lonely) a good time.  You could lick my boots and beg for 
"root"  whips from my leash of punishment and sadism.
banshee Interesting, as I might not have said, I've only met
banshee  fg
banshee  fg
"root"  hello?
"root"  GODAAMMIT I AM SICK OF THESE WRITE BOMBS!!!!!!!! theyre bombng my buddy
"root"  banshee here!! Ill flush their accts.  Ill deactivate write now god dammit!!!
"root"  forever! fuck this shit! I cant take it anymore!!! hell I quit!!!!
"root"  Im crashin g the system.  If your friends need to write a paper tell them
"root"  tehy can walk to berkely for an acct!!!!!!  FUCK EM ALL!!!
banshee I just got zapped with something wierd.
banshee  MMmmm. Isnt that a little drastic?
"root"  you want to bet????? I can kill the hardrives permanently with the flip
"root"  of a switc!!! theyd have to buy a new system!!!! I have a crow bar in the
"root"  trunk ILL TRASH THIS MO FUCKIN PLACE T O HELL!!!!!! THEY dont pay me
"root"  SHIT!!!! I  go through nervous breakdowns every year!!! thats wy I
"root"  am schizophrenic problems sometimes.... I am a bit of an alcoholic TOo.
"root"  But Ive been going to aa on and offf an I tink I have the problem
"root"  undR control. Realllly. 
banshee  Thats good, alcoholism can ruin lives
"root"  Yea, well you can see what it can do to ucscb!!!!!!! here go the
"root"  hard drives!!! 280 meg down the tubes!! 
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"root"  opf
"root"  Quit
You have new mail.
% ekV^[: Command not found.
script done on Thu Dec 11 00:49:18 1986