From spcecdt Mon Jan 14 00:46:27 1991
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (John DuBois)
Date: Mon, 14 Jan 91 0:46:27 PST
Yes, it's another Armory Party! Yes, so soon! What, you haven't
fully recovered from the one last October? NONONONO... actually that's
a more recent party you're recovering from; the substances you partook of
at it erased your entire memory of the preceding two months!
Anyway, we got away with the last one. Heck, the landlord probably
doesn't even know it happened, and so can't carry out his promise to sic
AKGs (Amazon killer gnats) and other assorted evilries upon us should we
ever ever ever again experience fun and revelry at this abode. So, we're
going to indulge our innate desire to push our luck beyond any reasonable
bounds by setting into motion the machinery to bring he 7th Armory Party
Why, you ask? O, you benighted, desolate masses, that you should think
such a query belongs in the company of such worthy party interrogatives as
Where, When, Who, How and What (to be discussed later)! Nay, let us not be
subtly drawn into the supposition that we need justify such an intrinsically
valuable and purposeful event!
If you still need a reason after that bold, flowing, thought-provoking,
inspiring drivel, the reason we chose this particular point on the timeline
is that it's the Second Anniversary (or is it third? no... no, second...
time is *so* confusing) of the Founding of the Armory. Also, we will be
celebrating Spiff's birthday, which fortunately for him happened to occur
at the same time of year as the Armory Founding.
As we approach the eve of 3 AA (Anno Armory), we find that only one
of the original Armorites (your humble author) still resides in that
illustrious abode. Dierdre and Mike have scattered to the four winds,
departing this very State itself, Elizabeth... Heaven only knows the
wherabouts of, and Penguin is still in town and will hopefully show up so I
won't have to regale people with Fascinating and Historic Armory legends
What is there to see? Not a whole lot that you haven't seen before,
actually. There's the bloody spot on the carpet where Mugi accidently drove
the Armory Pogo Stick off the edge of the kitchen and got his tail inhaled
by the heating system intake while plummeting to the treacherous shag below
(or did we just spill some ketchup there and invent that story so we wouldn't
have to clean it up? I forget now...) But who needs to see *things*,
there'll be lots of fun people around.
Themes: The theme for this Armory Party is Lack of a Theme. Please
do your best to avoid doing, bringing, or wearing anything that might be
unreasonably misinterpreted as something that a Theme put you up to. If more
than three people are found to be passively propagating a particular precept,
they will be summarily reprogrammed in an entertaining (to the bystanders,
And yes... here it is... that part about... those NeiGhBOrS!!!
First off: as usual, (in fact, as at every party here since the second
one) NO incindiary or explosive devices will be allowed. Remember, *I* can
go to OTHER people's parties and loose all the aluminum incandescense and
perchlorate dust decibels upon the world that I please, because hey, I do
that sort of thing, y'know, but NO ONE can come HERE and do it, because we
found that our neighbors object to it, so there.
As we all know, the formula R = Y^(2/3) embeds within it the reason that
a large number of small Atomik Bombes are to be favored over one Big Atomik
Bombe. As I sat on a throne one day pondering this equation, it occurred to
me that the principle could be applied as well to Musike as Atomik Bombes.
I naturally yelled "Eureka!" and leapt from my comfortable position, whilst
simultaneously causing a fluid to be displaced by a (semi-)solid mass in a
manner that would probably have quite gratified Archimedes. The liquid
that was released unfortunately didn't displace much of anything, so
after I had calmed down a bit I went back and cleaned it up, lest I hear
complaints of "you reeka!". Meanwhile, the concept that had birthed
within my brain festered a bit, and eventually (as things that fester are
wont to do) congealed. The upshot of which is that we'll have a few boom
boxes lying about so we don't have to turn any one of them up too loud.
If you recall, we experimented last time with artificially enhanced air
movement in an attempt at avoiding the necessity of having any windows or
doors left open in a manner which might allow acoustic energy to escape and
torment the neighbors. This was moderately successful, so in the spirit of
true Experimentors we will not do the same thing at this party, at least
not exactly the same, but actually, the general principle will most likely
be embodied in whatever we do, so the doors and windows will again have a
resting state of Closed if we have anything to say about it, which we
probably will, and if you don't like it (or run-on sentences) please
remember the name that was bestowed upon this domicile by someone in the
Know. Along these lines, we will also try to keep things (people, whatever)
Other assorted notes which don't warrant their own paragraphs:
* PLEASE do not park on McMillan. According to the landlord he gets calls
from the neighbors when the street is filled up by partyers' metal thangs.
Park on Nobel and walk down. You're a geek; you need the exercise.
* Please bring foodstuffs, drinkstuffs, and any other comestibles that
you can think of a way to stuff.
* Bring your instruments if you feel like it. The interpretation of
"instruments" is left up to you, within reason. The interpretation
of "reason" is left up to me.
Let's see, which of those five initial questions haven't I answered?
Ah yes, Who, Where, and When. Who: you. Where: see below. When: Saturday,
January 19th, 8:00 P.M. Yes, I've doublechecked, and there is indeed a
Saturday, January 19th this year, so that's when we're going to have it.
Instructions for getting to the Armory, which are essentially
unchanged from last time, except that after two years and 020x people
pointing it out to me, I have finally taken note of the fact that you will
be on Iowa Dr. if you turn LEFT when coming down Bay. But nevermind
that, you don't want to do it anyway.
From Campus: Go down Bay to the first stoplight and turn right onto Nobel
Dr., which is actually the only way you can turn onto Nobel since if you turn
left you will be on Iowa Dr. Continue on Nobel until you come to McMillan Dr.
and turn left onto it. (If you turn right you will be in someone's living room
and The Armory will not be held liable.) The Armory is on the right in the
middle of the first block, #305. It is a two-story house, off-white with brown
trim, and an Automatic Yard Light(tm) with a bulb in it that I would change to
some interesting color to help the especially bwain-damaged find the place,
except that the color would be rather hard to see since the lamp hasn't worked
for at least a year and we're too lazy to call the electrician to fix it, let
alone fix it ourselves. Humorously annotatted map follows.
| ^-- Campus
Meder St. |
/ Peach Terrace O | Bay St.
/ Nobel Dr. | |
/ minor houses | |
/ | |
/ That Other Place Nobel Dr. | | Iowa Dr.
/ + black spot on road -------------+----------------
| | / various & | STOPLIGHT
| V / sundry other|
\ Nobel Dr. *I* / places of no|
----------------.----------/ particular |
| M | S | consequence |
The Armory -> *A*| c | e | |
305 McMillan Dr. | M | t | |
| i | o | Alta | Bay St.
Donna Ct. | l | n | Vista |
--------------| l | | |
| a | | |
| n *H*| | |
| ^ Yet Another Place
(which it seems is going to
go *poof* before long)