Invite to the Sixth Armory Party

From spcecdt Tue Oct 16 02:54:20 1990
From: (John DuBois)
To: /dev/null
Subject: ARMORY PARTY!!!
Bcc: party
Date: Tue, 16 Oct 90 2:54:20 PDT

*    NOTE: if you don't know why you're on this list, someone probably
*    asked to have you included.  Mail me if you want off.

     It's an Armory Party!!!  You'd almost forgotten about us, hadn't you?
Well, we're still here.  We've just been laying low for the last eight
months.  Why?  'Cuz our former housemate who shall rename mainless (but
whose initials are MM) was kind enough to have a blowout St. Patrick's
Day/moving out party shortly before she became an ex-Armoress while the
rest of were off somewhere else, possibly but not necessarily partying
ourselves, and the aforementioned party got somewhat out of hand, wot with
people that neither she nor anyone else knew wandering about, breaking in
doors, creating cute little beer floods, etc., with the net result that I
have a tape from my answering machine (which I'll be happy to play for
anything, er, one who is interested) which is imprinted with the voice of
our landlord threatening to draw & quarter us, dice us, slice us, boil us
in oil, feed us to Amazon gnats, and then kick us out, if we ever think
about allowing the notion of considering having a party here ever again
enter our heads.  So I thought, OK, we won't have a party here for a while.
     Anyway, a while is up now, so it's time for the 6th Armory Party!
Yes, we are taking our very Lease in our Hands, but we can't very well
live without ever having a party again, hmm?  Neighbor annoyment abatement
measures (that means eliminating sources of annoyment to the neighbors, not
eliminating annoying neighbors!) will be described later.
     This party is honor of our having survived the
Within-An-Order-Of-Magnitude-Of-Being-A-Great-Quake of '89, along with
whatever other jolting events you've gone through in the last year.  Come
see a tailless Mugi (he gnawed it off while listening to the poetry of
Grunthos the Flatulent)!  Come see our new Stat Lab, and Simulated Wood
Veneer coffee table, and other wonders of our modern technological
society!  But that's not all!  You can also see the Three New Armorites!
     Themes: if you can think of ways to represent an earthquake in
clothing, fud/drink, etc., go for it.  You might bring some Jolt cola, or
some Shake-n-Baked chicken, or if you're a tad more ambitious, sculpt the
city of Santa Cruz in jello and embed a vibrator in it :-)
     Rumors to the effect that we have connected 100 kilonewton solenoids
to the foundation of the Armory and are planning on sending a megawatt of
earthquake and/or heavy metal noise through them are TOTALLY untrue.  In a
similar vein, we have not, repeat NOT hired Disaster Area to play for this
party.  The neighbors would probably find something about that to complain
about (sheesh!)  And on that theme...
     Avoiding annoying the neighbors:
     Yes, if "those neighbors" moved away, they probably would still object
to our existence, but their complaints wouldn't have much weight.  Various
and sundry schemes have been proposed over the years to induce this action,
some quite ingenious and others crude but possibly effective, but being the
mellow people we are, we aren't going to carry any of them out, at least
not without considerable further provocation.  In the current situation we
have to keep our parties at a level such that they'll be more interested in
reading the Anal Retentive Guide Quarterly than complaining about us.  That
  a) The music won't be too loud;
  b) The windows downstairs will stay closed, while we conduct experiments
     in articially enhanced air movement upstairs;
  c) We will have to keep things inside;
  d) As usual, no flame throwers or explosives in the back yard, 
     since they particularly object to those; and
  c) PLEASE do not park on McMillan.  According to the landlord he gets calls
     from the neighbors when the street is filled up by partyers' mobility
     enhancement devices.  Park on Nobel and walk down; it is a very short
     Other assorted notes which don't warrant their own paragraph:
  *  Please bring fud & drink.  Bring your instruments if you feel like it.  
  *  If you fall off the edge of the kitchen, you will probably annoy
whoever is on the couch at the base of the cliff.  Please don't do it.  If
your balance somehow comes to be impaired at this party, you should stay
away from the edge.

     Good question.  I knew you'd ask, so rather than answering 69 queries
individually, I thought I'd tell you right here!  What an idea eh?  And the
answer is: SATURDAY!  That's NEXT Saturday!  The 20th of October! 
Starting around 8 PM! Isn't that an EXCITING date?  No?  Well OK, but we
didn't want to have it on the 17th 'cuz Wednesdays, or more precisely,
Thursday mornings, just don't lend themselves to Armory parties, and
it'll be 1992 before the Q-niversary falls on a weekend, and we just didn't
want to wait that long.

     Instructions for getting to the Armory, which are almost but not quite
entirely unchanged from the last time you got them, because my creativity
just dried up:
     From Campus: Go down Bay to the first stoplight and turn right onto Nobel
Dr., which is actually the only way you can turn onto Nobel since if you turn
right you will be on Iowa Dr.  Continue on Nobel until you come to McMillan Dr.
and turn left onto it.  (If you turn right you will be in someone's living room
and The Armory will not be held liable.)  The Armory is on the right in the
middle of the first block, #305.  It is a two-story house, off-white with brown
trim, and an Automatic Yard Light(tm) with a bulb in it that I would change to
some interesting color to help the especially bwain-damaged find the place,
except that the color would be rather hard to see since the lamp hasn't worked
for half a year and we're too lazy to call the electrician to fix it, let
alone fix it ourselves.  Humorously annotatted map follows.

                                                           | ^-- Campus
                                  Meder St.                |
                    /                                      |
                   /                                       | Bay St.
                  / Nobel Dr.                              |
                 /                                         |
                /                                          |
               /      That                      Nobel Dr.  |    Iowa Dr.
              /       Other_____              -------------+----------------
             |        Place    |             /  various    | STOPLIGHT
             |                 V            /   other      |
              \  Nobel Dr.    *I*          /    places     |
               ---------------------------/     of no      |
                   | M         | S       |      consequence|
 The Armory ->  *A*| c         | e       |                 |
 305 McMillan Dr.  | M         | t       |                 |
                   | i         | o       | Alta            | Bay St.
      Donna Ct.    | l         | n       | Vista           |
     --------------| l         |         |                 |
                   | a         |         |                 |
                   | n      *H*|         |                 |
                   |         ^ Yet Another Place
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