Good Eatin'

Or, "What're we gonna eat at HOTT.BOB and who's a-gonna be makin' it?"

That is what we are striving for here.

Here, now, to fill us in a bit more on the status of this part of the mission, is General Daniel "Eat Me" Johnson, commander in chief of all HOTT.BOB culinary forces, and official Top of the Food Chain:

The eight (8) Good Eatin' Meals, and the people who will be responsible for them, are:

1. "Welcome to Rustic Hell" Beef Massacre
   • Friday night (11 August 1995 20:00 MST)
   • Burgers, flame-broiled, with all the basic fixings and maybe a few other things as well. Chips and dips, the usual suspects.
   • Still working on a vegetarian alternative. Suggestions always welcome.
2. "Too Close to the Border" Breakfast Bonanza
   • Saturday morning (12 August 1995 10:00 MST)
   • Breakfast burritos and tacos, with both meat and vegetarian stuffings to choose from. Potato, egg, cheese, salsa, lettuce, sausage, dancing about in a merry frenzied dance of consumption.
   • Fill a tortilla with joy!
   • Served with mixed fruit (probably melon, which I'm told will be plentiful in the area at this time).
   • Eric "Breakfast Czar" Scheirer in charge. Saint Terri and j.j to assist in making the morning a brilliant one.
3. "Chaos in Taos": Grub is Where You Find It!
   • Saturday afternoon (12 August 1995, any time)
   • After breakfast, the horde will descend upon Taos. Lunch will be up to the individual to accquire. Agents will find a wide variety of suitable targets to access.
   • Some pre-mission survery work will occur; menus may be accessible from this profile in the future.
4. "Chaos in Taos": Coup d'Etat
   • Saturday evening (12 August 1995, 20:00-ish?)
   • Again, agents will be accquiring their own sustenance. However, a greater effort will be made to centralize feeding efforts. One or more Taos restaurants will be entirely taken over, in all likelihood, by the forces of weirdness.
   • Again, preliminary reconnaisance of the region will turn up likely choices; agents will be notified via the usual channels. The field commanders are of the opinion that genuine Southwestern food would be good for all concerned.
5. BONUS MEAL!
   • Dan's parents will be hosting some kind of feast in the late evening on Saturday, after the wedding, the exact nature of which is yet to be determined.
   • There are rumors that Dan will make dolmathes as part of this, however. You ain't lived until you've rolled dolmathes.
6. "Does the Prayer Biscuit have the Buddha-Nature?"
   • Sunday morning (13 August 1995, late morning)
   • Biscuits with your choice of gravy covering or the jam/honey route. More fruit and sausage.
   • Fast-breaking, Breakfasting Czar-Bizarre Eric "D." Scheirer in charge. Terri and Jenine will provide flank cover.
7. "Pray for Dawn, Sinner" Grudge-Match Chili Cookoff
   • Sunday evening (13 August 1995, all afternoon and into the night, no doubt)
   • Do you have what it takes to make us weep?
   • Are you strong enough to brave Perdition's flames?
   • Can you take it as well as you can dish it out?
   • Tell us what you need us to supply for your favorite taste of pain, and do your worst.
   • We dare you.
   • Cornbread to help soak up the blisters. Door prizes to those who deserve them.
8. "Beat It, You Slackers!" Flapjack Fiesta
   • Monday morning (14 August 1995, bright and early)
   • Pancakes, eggs, sausage or bacon. A waterfall of syrup, an ocean of jam. Fill your bellies and your hearts, and then get the hell out.
   • Eric "Sound Bite" Scheirer ordered to lead the final charge. St. Terri of the Net and j.j to provide damage control.

In all cases, meals will be planned so as to allow for complete enjoyment by carnivores, herbivores, omnivores, breatharians, methane-dependant or silicon life, vampire clouds, replicants, and the walking dead.

NO NON-CONSENSUAL CANNIBALISM OR ENERGY CREATURES WHICH FEED ON HATE AND/OR FEAR WILL BE ALLOWED!

Now, as you can imagine, the task of cooking for scores of hungry froupers is going to be quite a task, and while Andrew and I are going to be up to our elbows in blood and celery, we're probably still gonna need some help if anyone is to survive. Several have already stepped forward to fill the some vital gaps, but we could probably use some more kitchen assistants; people who are willing to spend one or more meals behind the ovens rather than in them, er, no, forget I said anything about that-- I meant, behind the ovens instead of just enjoying the results-- in exchange for a partial or even total refund of their fee.

The current kitchen staff looks something like this:

The Elder Dan			Responsible for getting it together

Eric D. Scheirer		Breakfast Czar
  j.j and St. Terri		Twin Goddesses of Morning Joy

Stevi Deter			Friday's Burgerfest and the Chili Cookoff
  (a couple other people mailed me. must check my mail again. yes.)

Daniel Johnson, Gen.

Commander in Chief, HOTT.BOB Culinary Forces

crisper@armory.com