I was in Bulgaria. I had come into the country on some sort of Cold War spy business and then something had gone wrong and I couldn't get back out as easily. Bulgaria was a lot like the poorer parts of Mexico... in fact, so much so that I could see Texas across the Rio Grande if I walked to the concertina-wired, patrolled border crossing.
There were a lot of Bulgarian hussy girls trying to help me... that is, they wanted to be there when I managed to get out, so they could come with me. There wasn't much they could actually do to help make that happen, but that didn't stop them from trying to seduce me. I had neither the time nor the patience for them.
Then somehow I was back in the States, safe and sound; I think the USG somehow came and extracted me. They wanted me back ASAP because they needed to ask me about someone. I can't remember the name but it was something nonsensical, like Jack Hypotenuse. "You need to tell us everything about Jack Hypotenuse," my government handlers kept saying and I didn't know what they were talking about for a while.
Then I remembered that, a few years earlier, I had written a joke report for my agency about the vulnerability of our encryption, which was nothing more than "crypt", pretty much. I had recommended a new encryption algorithm-- I don't remember the process, I'm sure it was something non-encryption-like. The main thrust of the joke was, if you used my ludicrous algorithm on the message itself, it produced a different message, a little rambly thing about a guy named Jack Hypotenuse. I couldn't remember what I had said about the guy anymore, but apparently one of the agency's Machines, doing some random sorting of old data, had found my message-within-a-message and triggered some sort of alert. So they had come to pull me out of Bulgaria, but I was in trouble anyway...