#1
I was on a drill team with a bunch of Marines. We were asked to do a demo of some sort for Phil Schiller, VP of Marketing at Apple. He had a different name, though.
There was a free buffet at the demo site but all it served was different kinds of ice cream.
Some know-nothing officer was running the whole thing. They left the flag flying as the sun went down; my team went out and retired it for the evening ourselves since this asshole had totally forgotten.
#2
There was a sniper in Italy. He was going from rooftop to treetop in sort of wuxia fashion. Never came down to the ground where the cops were. We finally climbed up to where he was in order to catch him. He resisted arrest in goofy fashion, however. Stuff like walking backwards down a flight of stairs while miming hand gestures that were supposed to somehow make us think he was getting closer, not further away. He had a can of mace but instead of using it, he stuck it in his ear. We drew a line on the rooftop. "If you cross this line, we're going to BZ your ass." He did a Monty-Python-silly-walk step across the line, making a goofy Jerry Lewis face. About six of us grabbed him and then we sprayed emetic in his face until he'd puked his last four meals up. That'll teach the stupid prick.
#3
Then I was asked to babysit Steve Jobs' kid, who was about 3 or 4 years old. He was well behaved. He also had his dad's badge. We briefly considered abusing its all-doors access privileges but then decided against it.