The pope had this amazing cool apartment suite built into the third floor of a skyscraper, and I figured out how to break into it. There were several elevators, you see, but none of them had a third-floor button. But on of the elevators, the one that went along the outside of the building, had a secret panel outside in the hallways that contained the third-floor button. But you had to enter a secret code (the code was 313) and then press the Door Open button while turning a key. Then the elevator would open and take you to the pope's secret party pad.
So I went up there. It was very nice; it sprawled over the entire third floor. Once you were actually there, it didn't look like it was on the third floor of a building; it looked like it was on the top floor of a HUGE building; it was surrounded by decks and terraces and a pool and stuff, with a great view of some city. Inside, I helped myself to the booze and junkfood in the kitchen/bar and I stretched out on a huge sofa to take a nap. Then I went back downstairs.
There, I ran into a guy I sorta knew in jr. high and high school named Chris. I told him about how I'd managed to get the key and stuff and had broken into the pope's hidden suite, and he wanted to see it. So we go to the special elevator, but a security guard sees us and chases us 'cause she knows we're not supposed to be in the building at all. She would have caught us, but she used a lot of time pressing the DOWN buttons on all the other elevators so that they would go to the ground floor so that we couldn't use them to escape. But I was too slow and was still fumbling for the key to the secret elevator when she caught up to us, so I had to deck her. Then I took her keys so she couldn't follow us.
When we got up to the third floor, we realized that someone was on top of the elevator. It turned out to be two other guys I kinda knew in school, Scott and Wally. They had followed us to see what we were doing, they said, and we helped them down off the roof of the elevator. Then we proceeded to watch TV and play pool and throw stuff off the roof of the building down into the city, etc. And we continued to ransack the kitchen and bar.
Eventually, I realize there's something they're trying to tell me but they're not. So the three of them admit that the main reason they came up here was because it was a secure place for them to finally come out of the closet, and they were pretty sure I was bisexual and thus open-minded enough not to have a problem with that. And I felt really bad as I explained that, no, I'm actually pretty damn straight, but that I didn't have a problem with it, anyway. Who woulda guessed? And we were going to search the place for some women's clothing for them to try on-- we figured there HAD to be some around there SOMEWHERE, right?-- when the arrival of the pope's security forces made me wake up.