10 May 1994

There was a major political party being thrown by the Clinton administration. The attendees were about 50% old politics farts and about 50% young geeks and Gen-X'ers. I think the party was supposed to allow the administration to get a feel for the moods of today's young people or something. And they were passing around these glass bottles (shaped like Clearly Canadian) which held a combination nitrous kick and some mix of smart drugs, with a little rubber lid.

When Clinton tried to open his, it started making this farting noise which scared the crap out of him, so he hastily re-capped it and passed it to me surreptitiously. I think this product was made by the company who was sponsoring the event; they were everywhere.

So I start helping myself to choline-laden nitrous and go back into this darker part of the house, which was a big Southern plantation home of some kind. And then it got really unpleasant. My head was swimming from the mix of stuff in the bottle, and there was this couple there, a guy about my age and a girl who was probably thirteen or fourteen. And he handcuffed and blindfolded her, and started cutting all her clothes off with a knife. I couldn't tell whether it was consensual-- if this was a scene they'd done before-- or if he was raping her, and the choline-nitrous shit was making it hard for me to move or say anything, so all I could do was watch as he dragged her out of the house, down to the river, where he really ripped into her.

It seemed like it went on forever, but eventually, he was through with her, left her on the bank of the river and disappeared into the darkness. And I found that I could finally move, so I went down to her and learned that, indeed, it was not a scene-- they had only just met, and he had seemed so nice at first, but then he'd gone a little nuts on the choline-nitrous stuff (which I was beginning to suspect had a great many other ingredients they were not telling us about) and had assaulted her, as I'd witnessed.

So I carried her back up to the house and tucked her into this really big bed. She fell asleep and I went outside and began to throw up. Then I smashed the bottle on some rocks and I began to hike-- away, just anywhere but this party and this drug.

As the sun began to rise, I was hiking up this dry riverbed and I reached a cliff and looked out over this gorgeous panoramic scenic view of the sun rising over the ocean. And there was a ship down there which I think was supposed to be where the party had been (even though it was definitely a plantation home earlier), and I knew I would never go back.