Martin Short and I were walking down some boulevard in Hollywood, looking for work. There was this abandoned theater. Its lobby was full of stuff-- just junk mostly-- so Martin went in and was watching from outside. He started scatsing on this microphone, dancing around and stuff, and then he started dancing with this tailor's dummy that was wearing a scarf, singing about the joys of love, while I improvised jazz music outside with my voice.
Then I noticed this guy's reflection in one of the Coming Attraction displays in the lobby; he's been watching us for a while. Then he steps out and it's Tom Hanks. He thinks Martin and I are a great duo and he wants us to be in this film he's directing and starring in. So we say "sure" and he invites us in for a production meeting.
Inside the theater is a gymnasium, being decorated as though for a jr high school dance. Tom Hanks starts explaining the film to us. He wants Martin to be in the main role, and he and I would play the two major supporting male roles.
TOM (to Martin): "Can you get some fake ID?" MARTIN: "Uh, yeah, no problem. Why?" TOM: "You're going to have to be a woman for a while."
Turns out Martin's role is a transvestite and Tom wants him to live the part all through production. I make a bunch of jokes about how good Martin looks in red suede and he punches me in the arm.
Then he wants us to meet our co-star, who is Jennifer Connelly. She comes up and hands him some script pages or something, and hardly looks at any of us. She just gives him the pages and walks away. Apparently, in the dream she was called something like "Katy". I could tell Hanks was in love with her.
TOM (as she walks away, sighing): Ahhhhh, Katy, can it be that you are truly the one for me? Can I really be so lucky?
Martin and I look at each other skeptically. We've decided Tom Hanks is a real dork.
So he continues telling us about the story, and it pretty much mirrors what is happening in the dream, except that Martin is a transvestite: two guys looking for work find this film being staged in the innards of an old abandoned theater, and the lead's friend (played by me) duels with the director (Hanks) for the affections of the leading lady.
I already knew this was going to happen the moment Jennifer Connelly entered the dream. I also knew, even though Hanks didn't tell us how it ended, that in the end I would triumph and she would fall in love with me.
So I go out into the lobby where she is, while Tom Hanks and Martin work out the details of Martin living in drag for six months. She's at the doors of the theater, letting all these actors in, giving them programs as they go through. People are gathering in the gym.
Eventually, I go back into the gym, and now there are hundreds of actors milling about. It's a party, most of them are in elegant dinner attire. There's a wet bar and buffet table. It's really crowded all of a sudden. I find Martin again. Tom Hanks is up on the stage, fiddling with a mike. Dozens of cameos here-- the only one I can remember is Nick Nolte with a martini in one hand and a Ritz cracker smeared with mayo in the other, nodding at everyone and saying "Yeah" to each one.
Then Jennifer Connelly is to my right, pressed in by the crowd. She seems to notice me for the first time, rather distastefully:
JC: Who are you?
I introduce myself, and Martin too (who tries to wave hi to her but is pinned in by people so all he can do is wiggle his fingers and smile weakly; it was one of those classic Martin Short moments and I wish you could've been there). She doesn't seem to like me. I know this will change.
JC: Where did all these people come from? MARTIN: Maybe the director offered everyone a job. ME: Maybe he went out and painted the sky Enticement Blue.
After about four or five seconds, I realize that sentence meant nothing whatsoever and the two of them look at me confusedly. So I suggest that maybe it's simply because there's alcohol being served and the doors are open; of course everyone in Hollywood is going to show up.
Then someone in the crowd mentions how they're going to play the transvestite lead and I realize that Hanks has been making promises he won't be able to keep. Lots of people are going to get cut, but I'm pretty confident Martin will keep the lead. I'm less sure that I'll get to keep my role, but that's okay, because I know that in real life I'll still be the one Jennifer Connelly falls in love with.
Tom Hanks turns on the mike and starts tapping it ("Is this on?") to bring the crowd to order.
I wake up, determined to figure out, someday, how to paint the sky Enticement Blue.